| The truth is, finding true love - not necessarily the kind | | | | riding my bike every night after work. I took myself out |
| you see in movies, but pure, lasting love - isn't about | | | | to dinner. This was fun - and only the beginning. |
| posting your most flattering picture and eye-catching | | | | What followed was an amazing journey of |
| profile online, or by "keeping an open mind" and going | | | | self-discovery that I never could have anticipated. I |
| on every available date. It isn't about reading books by | | | | moved to San Francisco and used every opportunity I |
| so-called relationship gurus, or spending your | | | | could to find out new things about myself. I |
| paychecks on fancy clothes. | | | | re-discovered painting and was chosen for my first art |
| I've come to believe that taking time to be alone is | | | | show; I found really cool jobs that I loved and |
| crucial, not only for finding love, but for living | | | | eventually started my own business; I picked up the |
| authentically and fully. | | | | guitar and found that I had an aptitude for music and |
| Taking some time to remain single provides you with | | | | songwriting, and I began performing (and now perform |
| the opportunity to really get to know yourself, before | | | | regularly); I spent my evenings finding new cafes, |
| you get to know a new partner. I found my best friend | | | | reading great books, writing and listening to music. I had |
| and partner for life when I was blissfully alone. Not | | | | the time of my life. |
| alone and sad, not alone and lonely. Alone and fulfilled, | | | | I never said to myself "I am going to stay alone |
| in a place where I couldn't imagine making room in my | | | | forever". Truth be told, I really didn't think about it. I was |
| life for anyone else. Here's how it happened. | | | | too busy having fun! 3 years into my adventure, I met |
| Since the age of 15, I always had long-term | | | | my husband-to-be at a cafe where I performed. We |
| relationships. I was never with anyone for less than 2 | | | | were friends for 2 months before it hit me that we |
| years. I learned many important lessons in those | | | | really clicked. |
| relationships, relating to communication, my own ways | | | | And, get this: he had taken 3 years off of dating too, |
| of processing and receiving love, and much more. | | | | right before meeting me. Now, we play music together, |
| One night, when I was 24, I said "I can't do this | | | | take long walks, and live a wonderful life that we built |
| anymore" to my then-boyfriend of 2 years and hung | | | | both separately and together. |
| up the phone (ok. I did it by phone. I know that sounds | | | | So, close your laptop. Politely decline your friend's |
| horrible, but I was young. Let's move on). After I said | | | | attempt to set you up. Instead, take yourself on a date. |
| that, I felt incredible elation. I was free. He was a good | | | | In fact, take yourself on many. Take some time |
| guy at heart, but not for me. I realized I was with him | | | | (doesn't have to be 3 years, even just a week) to go |
| for who he could maybe be someday, not for who he | | | | wherever your heart tells you to go, wear whatever |
| was at the time. I knew immediately that in setting both | | | | you feel like wearing, explore your boundaries and |
| of us free from what could have turned into a toxic | | | | your passions openly and honestly. |
| relationship, I had done the right thing. | | | | It worked for me. And as a bonus, I found the love of |
| Newly single, I moved into my own studio apartment | | | | my life. |
| and bought a kitten. I made new friends and started | | | | |